Love the world to life.

COLORS continued...

2010-11-30T05:33:00.000-08:00

A couple months ago, one of my sister's friends, Jessica Simmons came home from living in Thailand for a year. She worked with an organization called Destiny Rescue. They rescue girls/children from the rampant sex industries in Thailand, Cambodia, & Mozambique. They offer them an escape, place to live, education, different job opportunities, medical & physiological attention, etc. They also have a prevention program to educate targeted (poor) families so they are not subject to that future. They are an incredible organization. I had been familiar with them due to my friend and sister working with them in years past, so I was excited to talk with Jessica about what's been going on over there.

We all went to lunch a few days after she got home and we had a great time talking about family, friends, and her incredible year with DR. When we returned home, she saw all my scarves laying in our living room and we started talking about the benefit this year. With my sister home, I didn't even have a clear direction as far as where to give the money that was going to be raised! She just blurted out that DR was looking for job opportunities for the girls and that I should go over there to teach the girls how to crochet and we could sell what they made. She added that the money we raised at the fund-raiser could send us over there to start it all. And BAM. Just like that, it was done. It was almost as if, God had wrapped COLORS up in a beautiful box with gorgeous paper and bow, and sat it in my lap. Before I even said one word, I knew that this was it. I don't think I have ever been more sure about anything.

That's when it all started, and I can't even begin to describe what God has done since. I have been in a constant state of overwhelmness. (New word) Everyone that I know is helping, contributing what they can to this and as each day passes, I am becoming more invisible. Just like he promised. At this point, I don't even think I need to be there for this night/company to be all it will be, and that is how I know that it is all HIM. I am honored to be a part of it and to be surrounded with such amazing, talented people. Jessica Stewart, thanks for being my partner on this wild ride! Mayhay, thanks for the inspiration of all of this. Mom, for always supporting me & believing in me, always. Andy, your support means more to me than anything, you have NO idea! Munclefred (Jessica, Michaela, Meghan, Kayla), you are 4 of the most talented, fun people and our 2 companies will forever be BFFs :) Joseph Stagnaro, you can do everything and you are AMAZING at it all, don't you doubt it. Joe Brim, for the past years and this one, you are a constant fixture ;) Brittany, you have been there for me for the past 10 years, and I will forever be grateful for your friendship (and fudge ;) Natalie, just your words of encouragement and love are worth more than I could ever repay. Keenan, Tim, & Eric, all three of you have been there for my family for the past several years. You hold special places in our hearts for your generosity.

All of you, are why I know that this is from God. Thank you for allowing me to be small part. This night will be amazing, and it is only the beginning. God is about to open eyes and hearts to the realities of what is happening to his children on the other side of the world, and we are going to help change it! What an incredible mission. Are you ready?

COLORS (in all caps)

2010-11-15T05:27:00.000-08:00

So this blog might be one of my favorites that I will ever write, for many reasons. The first is that it is extremely personal. And that makes me happy because when I am really honest and open, I feel like you know me better. Good or bad, you know my heart that means I don't have to pretend anymore. The second reason I am pumped about this blog is because it gives you insight into my heart (and God's heart) for this company we are starting, COLORS.

First I have to explain the way me and God work together. Several years ago, (when I was better about spending alone time with God), I would journal. I would journal my prayers to God and as silly as it sounds, he would journal back. I write in cursive most of the time (when I am trying to write with any speed or intention). One day when I was journaling I felt God speak to me and I didn't want to forget it so I immediately wrote it down. I wrote it in all caps so I didn't confuse my prayers and God's answers. And so the tradition began. I would pray (in cursive) and God would answer (in caps). It was lovely, and it's hard to explain. A dialogue was the only way I could tap in and listen to him without losing focus. I still do it if I really need to hear/listen to him, although, not as often as I'd like. I NEVER feel closer to him than when we dialogue. You may think I'm crazy/weird but that's okay, you all probably think that anyway :)

SO, I want to share one of our dialogues. In preparing for Scarf Some Sweets and launching COLORS, I was reminded of one of our conversations a couple years ago when God revealed to me his heart for this company. I am sharing it because I want you to understand the timing and hold me accountable to the standards that HE set. My next blog will explain how everything God said set all of this in motion and how it all came to fruition. It's incredibly exciting to be a part of this and I'm thrilled that you want to be a part as well :) Here goes:

Thank you God. I am so undeserving. Thank you for reminding me of "Colors".
COLORS. (IT WILL BE IN ALL CAPS , BECAUSE IT'S FROM ME.)
DON'T PUT A TIME LINE ON IT. A VERSION OF IT WILL HAPPEN. BE PATIENT AND FOLLOW MY LEAD. DO NOT PUSH IT. YOU WILL KNOW. JUST GO WITH MY FLOW. COLORS WILL HAPPEN! I PROMISE. IT WAS FROM ME. DON'T DOUBT IT. I WILL MAKE YOU INVISIBLE. LIKE THE INNER WORKINGS OF YOUR BODY, ESSENTIAL BUT NOT SEEN. THAT'S HOW YOU WILL KNOW IT'S FROM ME. YOU WILL BE THE HEART AND BLOOD BUT NOT SKIN. BUT DON'T WORRY, I WILL PROVIDE IT ALL AND IT WILL BE A GREAT WORK FOR MY NAME. I WILL RECEIVE ALL THE GLORY. JUST LIKE IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE.

Just like it is supposed to be. To you be the honor and praise. Work in, with, and through me.
Amen

Steen: The Protagonist?

2010-08-16T18:54:00.000-07:00

So when I think of myself, I definitely don't consider myself a protagonist. Well, I do, but not a good one. Not the traditional heroine: strong, witty, determined, long hair flowing around her as she defeats the bad guys and apparently doesn't even need her hair in a ponytail?! I never felt as though I fit what the world consideres my roles, wife, mother, pastors wife. I mean, I have facial piercings and wore a mohawk for crying out loud. But I have found strength in that, not being what people assume. It's like my alias. Which FYI is my favorite TV show.

In order to tell you what I want my character to look like (and be the protagonist I know I can be) and what I wish to accomplish in my story over the next few years, I have to tell you a bit about my last few ones. I was married at 20 and preggers by 21. I have always loved and believed in God but it wasn't until my early 20s that I found my own faith and grew into the person God had created me to be. Donald Miller had a LOT to do with that but that is a whole other story. Anywho I had an extremely difficult delivery with my son, Eli, and so when he didn't develop normally I just assumed that the reason was his traumatic birth. It wasn't until he was 2 and a half that we started putting the pieces together. Autism. Bam. My life was changed forever. Normalcy, and the expectation of normalcy, was gone. Good thing I was never a huge fan of normalcy to begin with! By this time my daughter, Peyton, was just born. Sure enough, after a year or two we knew enough to see it coming. At the ripe old age of 25, I found myself with 2 autistic children.

To most people, this would be devastating. It would be tragic. But my life has been far from tragic. It is magical. Thrilling. Exciting. Victorious. It is an adventure! I have lived more story than most people their entire lives! My children, (apart from being gorgeous), are quirky, funny, joyful, LOVING, memorable, smart, and all around incredible. They impact EVERY one they meet. They have taught me patience, understanding, selflessness, trust, and not to take anything for granted. Eli is a genius with technology. He's 7 and can run a imac, macbook, and iphone all at the same time. (He makes videos, edits them, surfs youtube, etc) Peyton is a drama queen that I swear will have her own band were she is the lead singer, dancer, and drummer. God has used them to mold me more into the character he has me to play. But I have a ways to go yet.

The hardest part of having children with autism is that they appear normal. It isn't until they have a huge episode in public or someone tries to have a conversation with them that you can tell something is different. Both of their verbal skills are extremely lacking. We have worked really hard for them to be able to make their needs known with language and we've done well, but other than that, it has been difficult. They do not comprehend abstract thought. Only concrete things seem to register and stick with them. They see a car, they know it's blue, but if you ask why you ride in a car they just stare at you blankly. They can repeat almost anything, but they have a hard time coming up with original thoughts/ ideas. They don't understand the question why. Why they can't, why they should, or why we do. That junk is really hard to teach. They also get very overwhelmed easily, they are sensitive to certain things. So there are places or situations that we have to be very careful with. I don't tend to step out and do new things with them for fear of the outcome.

Thankfully, God has blessed me with an incredible husband who has the determination and drive that I lack. He picks up where I slack and has amazing focus. He's not afraid of stepping out, nor the reaction of the world to our little ones. He is my partner and co-star in this little romantic comedy/ drama/ tear-jearker of a film. I couldn't ask for a better co-star, (I mean, he does look like a cross between Matthew McConn-a-hottie and Bode Miller!)

And speaking of where I lack...

Here is where I, as a protagonist, fall short. I am undisciplined. I lack follow-through. I have great intentions but no determination. I give up too easily. I avoid conflict. There are many therapies that we can apply for, detoxes available, different diets, supplements to give, classes that we could attend, that could help our situation tremendously. I've started SO many of these and just not finished or followed through with them. I could put the kids in dance or theater classes to help them be around typical kids, but I am nervous they wouldn't integrate well enough. I've started different detoxes and quit because it just got too difficult. I HAVE to learn to push through. I am an artist, so I tend to focus on the beauty and acceptance of something rather than the action required to correct it. I find myself accepting the kids as they are and finding the beauty of the autism (which is not all bad), but if I don't push them to grow and learn even more, who will?! I am their only mother, their only shot. The problem with me not being the character I need to be is that it affects more than just me and my story, it affects my children's.

My children require a heroine full of focus, strategy, determination, action, follow-through, perseverance, and structure. They require me to step up and be the protagonist that God has called me to be. To fight for them, and raise them up to be protagonists of their own stories. And let me tell you, they will be HEROIC characters, super heroes even! I might even go ahead and buy them tights. I truly believe that both of them will live full, "normal" lives and function in society as adults. I believe that in the next couple of years they will be in regular education classes with friends just like a typical kid. Their stories will include an autistic diagnose as a child and the overcoming of that obstacle. Their stories will be EPIC. And I need to be who they need me to be for that to happen.

So all that being said, I am hoping that by winning this contest and coming to this seminar, I will gain the knowledge and motivation to learn how to plan and structure my story, and action steps to follow through. At least how I wish it to go :) If I have learned anything it is that we have no control over things, but we have complete control of how we handle them. I mean, shoot, if standing on stage with one of the most influential people in my spiritual walk and telling my story to thousands of people doesn't give me the motivation and accountability to follow through, then I'm just screwed :)

Thanks for taking the time to read some of my story.
And here's to better ones,
Chillax,
Steen

www.donmilleris.com/conference

Living a Better Story Seminar from All Things Converge Podcast on Vimeo.

All the fuss...

2009-11-05T12:39:00.000-08:00

What's with all the fuss? Worrying, worrying, and more worrying....WHY? Seems super silly to me sometimes. We worry about everything! Swine flu, regular flu, the economy, the government, our neighbors tree hanging over our fence, having security for our future, and so on. Now, don't get me wrong, some things are valid concerns. But we take valid concerns and turn them into monumental headaches that keep us up at night!

Ya'll, God's got this! Promise! Don't stress yourself out to the point of sickness over it. Not much is worth that! Who needs the swine flu when you make yourself sick with worry? Trust me, God gave us a killer immune system. And the economy: Um, He's taken care of several bad ones before. And the government: all are under HIS authority. Period. Neighbor's trees: it's not YOUR yard, or YOUR fence, or THEIR tree for that matter! And the future? He's got a plan, he doesn't need our help!

So why don't we try an exercise? DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY! Sing it, I PROMISE it will make you smile!!!

The little things.

2009-10-27T11:03:00.000-07:00

So i realize that I take a lot for granted. ESPECIALLY the little things. I go through my life and don't even notice things that SO many others around the world will never experience. Went to Cracker Barrel with my mom and we walked in and there was a huge fire in the ginormous fireplace. It was amazing. Here it is cold and rainy and I immediately get to warm myself by the fire. While sitting there I am on my Iphone just checking up on the world. Convenient. Then I enjoy a heavenly meal of delicious veges and a piece of cake.

All this happened AFTER I had an appointment with the life insurance lady to protect my family if I died. Hundreds of thousands of dollars. Andy could afford to pay off the house, send the kids to college and pay for a nanny if I died. How many children would just go hungry if their mommy died?

I am never rained on (unless I choose to be.)
I can eat whenever I feel like it.
I sleep at least 8 hours every night.
In a bed that is borderline sinfully comfortable.
I have a husband to protect and provide for me.
Both of my kids go to school for free.

I never remember all the little things. They tend to go unnoticed. Why? Nothing should go unnoticed! I should be thankful for it all! And I am! But I don't act like it sometimes...I am bothered or annoyed. The pantry needs cleaning out and to be reorganized. That means we have EXTRA food! Cleaning the shower, laundry, car maintenance, the list goes on. Abba, help me be thankful for the little things. To remember you are in all the little things, and to never take them for granted.

Canton: The NEW city of angels.

2009-10-22T11:30:00.000-07:00

So my sister requested that I revive my blog. Girl, you got it! Too much has happened over the past few months for a quick overview so I will probably just address it slowly over time. But my first order of business is a list. God has blessed me and Andy as of late in an unbelievable way. Generosity is flowing from all directions. God is using so many people around us to shower us with HIS love. So knowing that He gets all the glory from this, I DO want to call out all of these amazing people so that they know that I (and Andy) love and appreciate them! My angel list.

1. Amanda. You, my dear, will require an entire blog just to cover what all you have done for us. (and that will come later!) But in short, you did not only give us your only possession, (your car) but the freedom to be out of car debt. What a huge burden lifted! Thank you forever for that and for the inspiration that you give me follow after God recklessly and selflessly.

2. Mom. Again, another blog! For now, you are ALWAYS there for me helping us whenever we could possible need it. Working with Peyton, letting Eli come over, Wednesdays, Sunday mornings, too many to list. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love you.

3. Keenan. Thank you for not giving up on me or just letting ME give up. For giving me an opportunity that I would not have had otherwise. Thank you for caring about me and my family! I will always appreciate you and your willingness to give me this chance. You are a GREAT boss and friend!

4. Monica. You have only been in our lives for a minute! But you have already had such an impact! From clothes for Peyton to anonymous donations for the kids testing, and advice and encouragement! Just knowing someone who is going through what we are going through means more than you know!

5. Natalie. My children would NOT be who they are without you. Period. You helped me and Andy out of a dark time with the kids and for that, I will be forever thankful!

6. Tara. Who else would send me this text: "Do something silly right now and tell me what it was!" You keep me sane and joyful. And I need that more than you know! Thank you for being my best friend! SO glad you are home.

I have been blessed in so many ways, and thank you all for all you have done for me and my family. Thank you Abba, for caring about me enough to surround me with SO many of your angels. For their willingness, thoughtfulness, and selflessness. I pray that you use me in their lives as you have used them in mine. I am forever thankful to you father!

It is finally here.

2009-05-21T08:56:00.000-07:00

SO today is the day that I have been waiting for for 11 months. Josh and Tara come home. I am literally leaving in less than an hour to go pick them up from the airport. I can't wait, and am so excited. Will post more later, just wanted to update. LOVE YOU ALL!

Why are some things so HARD?

2009-01-26T12:52:00.000-08:00

So. Time management. To manage your time. You know, I was thinking about this the other night laying in bed. We have 24 hours in a day. We give 8 (most of the time) to sleeping. That leaves us with 16 hours. Okay, say we give another 8 to work. That leaves us with 8 hours. Now let's be really specific and say that we watch our favorite shows on TV that night and take away another 2. That leaves us with 6 hours. WHAT HAPPENS TO THOSE 6 HOURS?!?!

It blows my mind that I have 6 hours to do all of the random stuff to do. It sure as heck doesn't seem like that much. It feels like I have one hour to accomplish everything I need to. For example: gym, chiropractic's office, breakfast, shower, dinner, time with the family, hobbies, and such. If i have 6 hours every day to get all of those different things done, THEN HOW COME I CAN'T?!? What's sad is that i already took out the time for TV. So really, if I cut TV out, then I would have 8 hours. Geeez.

So that brings us back to time management. It is difficult and most of the time I suck at it. But I am working on it and hope to get better over the course of 2009. Who knows....maybe by the end of the year I will be so good at it, I could write a book. Although, knowing me, I probably wouldn't be able to find the time!

Possibilities are endless.

2009-01-05T20:30:00.000-08:00

Wow. 2009. It's crazy to think about how time goes so fast! My husband is right, it is the ONE thing that we have no control over. It never changes and is always the same.

I am not going to lie. Despite the fact that a really important person in my life is going to be absent this year (physically), I am really excited about what 2009 is going to bring! Other than Tara being gone in 2009 (you bloodsucker :) I know that this year is going to be completely and entirely awesome. I have a husband that is more than I could have ever wished for. My sister comes home in Feb. I have an awesome job that I love. My kids are doing so amazing and learning and growing more than I could have ever asked for. I have an incredible small group. My family is supportive and totally rocks. God is finally revealing to me his purpose and plan for me, so this year is the first year of the rest of my life. He is allowing me to finally see it, and while it is a little overwhelming, it is extraordinary. I will reveal small parts slowly, so you all don't laugh at me. I do need your prayers though. Cause if anything that I have seen happens, it will all be God. Cause HE knows that I lack motivation, determination, and the discipline to follow through and make it real. I will say, that it starts with my job and my scarves/skinnies. And colors. Yes, definitely colors.

Let's just say that 2009 will be a year to shine my God colors. :)

Scarf Some Sweets Benefit

2008-12-17T18:25:00.000-08:00

Just a few memorable moments from the benefit, hope you enjoy! For more check out my facebook. Thanks again for everyone's time and donations!

Andy + half shaven = half beardcore

2008-11-28T11:56:00.000-08:00

Andy is SO weird! I guess that's why he makes a good student pastor.

This is what he decided to do before we get Santa pictures and before he goes to the UGA vs. GT game tomorrow. I guess if you can't make fun of yourself, you're too uptight.

My Thanksgiving Prayer.

2008-11-26T18:59:00.000-08:00

Dear Abba,
Tomorrow, I will celebrate Thanksgiving. So right now, I want to thank you for all of the blessing you have given me. I want to thank you for my family. For my wonderful husband who was created for me. I love him and am so blessed and thankful to have him as a partner in this life. I am SO proud of him and the man that he is in you. He is a warrior, and he fights for me and my children. He protects us, encourages us, believes in us and is always giving to us. He brings me joy and comfort. I feel complete in him and most importantly, he makes me laugh. :)

I want to thank you for my children. I have never met angels until they were born. They are only 5 and 3 but I can already see their incredible connection to you. They bring me more happiness than can every be typed or even expressed in words. Their smiles and kisses light up my life and I would be content to watch them grow up forever. Their sweet spirits and unbridled joy are gifts that most people never receive...and you gave me two. Thank you Abba.

Thank you for my Mom and Dad, without them I would have been lost. Thank you for their amazing support and comfort. Thank you for their encouragement and never giving up on me. Thank you for their unconditional love. They have been a great representation of your grace and forgiveness. Thank you for my brothers, Age and Chew. They are amazing boys. And they are growing into incredible Godly men. Age has your joy and sense of humor. He will be a great leader and he will carry your light into dark places. Thank you for our special relationship. And Chew, he is wise beyond his years. You have given him the ability to speak truth into lies and trust into doubt. What a gift. Thank you for our special relationship. Thank you for the closeness that our family shares, it is a rare treasure.
And for Mayhay. Thank you for giving me a sister that is brave, beautiful (inside & out), compassionate, gifted, disciplined, bold, funny, eager, motivated and seeking after your heart. She is becoming everything that you have called her to be. She is rising up and following after you. Thank you for her willingness to go into all the world to share your truth and freedom. I am so proud of her. And I am super lucky (blessed) to have such an amazing sister and best friend. Go with her, be with her, protect and guide her.

And last but not least, I want to thank you for Tara. Many people go through this life without a relationship like mine and hers. Deep, deep colors. :) We may not be related by blood, but we are connected at the heart. God, thank you for Tara and all that she means to me. She is a woman of you. Of your heart and mind. She encourages me, challenges and lifts me up. She is also a part of my family. Forever will be.
Abba, I have a bajillion things to be thankful for. But all my relationships, especially the ones with my family (including T), are the most important things to me. They will never fade. They will be the only thing besides what I do on this earth for you, that will follow me into eternity. So God, thank you. I am a rich, extremely wealthy woman of you.

Amen

(Oh, and other relationships that I cherish deeply are my incredible small group, work peeps, all my students & fellow inside-out leaders! Just can’t blog about everyone or it would be never-ending! But I do pray for you all often I LOVE YOU ALL AND AM SO THANKFUL FOR YOU!)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Viva la Clark Salon

2008-11-26T17:37:00.000-08:00

So Elvis has taken over my work. He is addicting! You find yourself humming, uncontrollably. Who knew there was a 24 hour channel on XM called "Elvis Radio". Channel 18 if anyone was wondering. I have discovered a lot about Elvis that I never knew. He made over 31 movies. SERIOUSLY!?!?!? That's a lot of movies! Another thing is that Elvis transcends age and gender. Everyone loves Elvis. No matter who walked through our doors, everyone mentioned the King. (Some a little more passionate than others of course!) You can listen to 16 hours of his music and only hear 3 repeats. There are some seriously cool remixes of his stuff...He also had 31 number ones on the charts. People have some weird memories of the man that's for sure. In between songs, people tell stories. Some are cool and some are long winded and awkward. Anywho's, work has been interesting the past couple of days, that's for sure. Nothing like some Jail House Rock to get the party started!

The Shack.

2008-11-24T11:22:00.001-08:00

So pretty much everyone that I know and care about has read this book. And EVERYONE has an opinion on it. It reminds me of this past election, everyone has a stance and everyone feels strongly about it. Many people that I have talked to did not like the book at all. Although, most of the people I have talked with has very mixed emotions about it. I for one, will say that I had emotions about it, but the were NOT mixed. I loved it. Everything and every part about it. In my opinion, it was a glorious and wonderfully told story about the heart of God, Papa. :) That was one of the favorite parts of the book for me, the fact that it refers to God as Papa. I have a name for God myself, Abba. (Which is "papa" in aramaic.) So obviously, I liked the book right off!

One of the main things that put people off about the book is that Papa reveals himself to the main character as a bigger black woman. First let me say, that God is capable of showing whatever part of himself to us that he wants. It made perfect sense to me that he did that. The main character had a bad childhood, with a father that beat him and his family growing up. It was a stumbling block for the main character to see God as a father figure, so he revealed himself to him as something that (for him) was easier to relate to. I also loved how God appeared as the trinity. Three separate entities. I believe that that was important as well, to show the different roles that Abba, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit plays in our lives.

Everything that I have learned over the past several years about the heart of God, what he cares about, values, why he created and what he desires were all in this book. He desires relationship, and that relationship is NOT forced, it is based on choices. Not selfish wants or needs, but selfless giving. True friendship.

God is NOT into rituals, institutions, or religion. Not into power or control, that only leads to selfish desire and unhealthy ambition. He doesn't want to simply be the highest priority in your life, he wants to BE your life. The importance of forgiveness, and the danger in holding in bitterness and pride in your heart. Why we shouldn't judge, why we CAN'T judge. Our desire for control in our lives and how we must give up control to be completely free. That we were created to be loved, and denying ourself love would be like clipping the wings to a bird, making it incapable to fly.

That whether or not we want to admit it, HE knows and desires what is best for us. That he can ALWAYS take something ugly and evil and turn it glorious and beautiful. That I am a beautiful MESS! Just because God always knows the path we are going to take, doesn't mean we don't have a choice in the matter. The one thing Abba wants from us is our trust, that we trust him to know and do what is best for us.

One of my favorite moments in the book is when the main character, Mack, is sitting down for breakfast with Papa. His is upset and questioning Papa about him punishing people.

So he asks, "Honestly, don't you enjoy punishing those who disappoint you?" At that, Papa stopped her preparations and turned toward Mack. He could see a deep sadness in her eyes. "I am not who you think I am Mackenzie. I don't need to punish people for their sin. Sin is its own punishment, devouring you from the inside. It's not my purpose to punish it; it's my joy to cure it."

I love that. People think that God's desire is to punish us when we do wrong. But that is NOT his heart or desire, he wants to free us and cure us from the darkness that sin brings into our lives. Thank you Abba, for wanting me to be free! For wanting to cure all of the sickness and yuck that is inside me.

There are SO many things like this that I love about this book; honestly, there are too many to list. I already want to read it again. One last quote to end this post....

"My purposes are not for my comfort, or yours. My purposes are always and only an expression of love. I purpose to work life out of death, to bring freedom out of brokenness and turn darkness into light."

What's your heart tied to?

2008-11-20T18:43:00.000-08:00

So the bible is clear...where your treasure is, your heart will be also. Treasure in this world=money. So, where your money goes there your heart will be as well. If nothing else, this makes me think where my heart is. I mean where does my money go? This is easier for me to gauge now that I make tips. I have a wad of cash in my pocket, what do I spend it on?

It has become increasingly apparent to me that my heart is in my stomach.

I love food. Like, love it. All of it. I spend my very hard earned tips on food. I should just sit on the side of the road and hold a sign that reads: "Will shampoo for a cookie." No kidding. Feel free to laugh at me. I do all the time.

Seriously though, what do you spend your money on? If you have an extra $10, $25, or $100, what would you do with it? It will tell alot about you... and be honest with yourself. How are you ever going to grow or learn if you never fess up to your short-comings? Mine is my stomach. I know that I need to work on self-control and distinguishing what is a need and a desire. I need lunch, I don't need Alley Beans full supply of home made giant cookies. Oh, but they are good....NO! Self-control, wait, I think I still have one left downstairs....STOP! YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN? I HAVE PROBLEMS!

So I'll make a deal with you... you help hold me accountable with my tip money, and I'll help you with whatever you are willing to open up with me about. Let's do our best to help hold each other accountable in keeping our hearts tied to something worth having our heart tied to... and I rather it not be indigestion. :)

Beauty School Dropouts and Flobots?

2008-11-12T15:39:00.000-08:00

So as a lot of you know, I quit school to work full time. Yes, you can sing the song from Grease next time you see me. Feel free. I just wanted to update you all on how it is going. I LOVE it. It is going SO well. I definitely made the right decision for me and my family. I am learning a ton, and am already cutting some hair. I am working at Clarke Salon, it is off Bells Ferry. So it is super close to home. Just wanted to let you know that I am very excited about the future and looking forward to all that is to come.

Oh, and just in case any of you were wondering...the Flobots are fantastic. Their show was incredible and I can't wait till they come back to the ATL. If you like a compilation of rap/rock/instrumental....you should pick up their album. They certainly have a message they want to convey and are passionate about change. I like that about them. Seriously, their show was amazing. Had a great time...Thanks for being my bodyguard Joe. And for protecting me from the sneezing man in the bushes. So weird. And a bit freaky.

Scarf Some Sweets Benefit

2008-11-08T15:07:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone! I just wanted to let you all know about a benefit that I am some friends of mine are putting on for Amanda. It will be an amazing night of fashion and desserts. Literally, you will be eating desserts while watching a fashion show! It will be an awesome time had by all so I hope that you buy a ticket or table and come hang out with us on December 6. If you would like to come be a part just contact me. All of the money raised will go to help Amanda's outreach efforts in Cambodia and Thailand. Thanks and hope to see you there!

The benefit will be held in Towne Lake on Saturday December 6, from 7:30 to 9:00pm. The cost is $10 a plate or $40 for a table. (4 seats per table) There is also a VIP table available ($100) that will have special seating and a take home gift per seat (some desserts and a skinny.) Please call me or email me if you are interested. Limited seating available so let me know soon!

My babies

2008-11-07T19:44:00.000-08:00

Here's a quick video Andy made (for Amanda) showing the kids playing in our guest room.

Kids from Andy Jone on Vimeo.

IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL!

2008-10-21T16:44:00.000-07:00

It should be illegal for the following things to exist or be able to occur:

1. For it to be 45 degrees in the morning and 75 the SAME afternoon. How is one supposed to react to that? Especially when you can't take your clothes off?!?
2. For my kids to be this beautiful.
3. For people to judge other people. You never know what is going on beneath the surface. As far as you know, my kids could be autistic. Wait....
4. Diets. Not healthy eating, I'm all for that. But diets....Nope! Don't deprive yourself, just have good eating habits. It's all about lifestyle baby, no short term fixes!
5. For 2 people that I love dearly to be on different continents!
6. Did I mention the weather thing?
7. Really bad smelling flatulence. Wow, that's a big word. Much more dignified than gas. :)
8. For my babies to be sick.
9. My husband should be illegal. Not because he crossed the border or anything...he's just that awesome!
and finally number 10. It should be illegal that the word illegal is so awkward to spell. Wait, so is the word awkward. Fitting.

Heeps of love to ya!

2008-10-19T19:43:00.000-07:00

Heeps of love to ya babe!

So as you all know, my sister Amanda (aka Mayhay) is in Australia. She is currently attending Discipleship school and training in preparation for 2 months of outreach (missions.) She is probably going to be going to Thailand, but will know for sure in a couple of days. I talked to her tonight and can honestly say that I have never been more proud of her.

Her motives are pure, she just wants to do the most for our savior possible. She is beautiful, and happy and seems more content with herself than I have ever seen her. She is bold and passionate.

I say all of this, because of what she will be doing if she does in fact go to Thailand. From the little bit that we talked, I found out that she would be working with an organization in a city that works with pulling prostitutes out of the biz. I'm talking sex trafficking. There is a specific location, a string of bars that they work out of. She would be visiting the bars with 3 other girls and "buying" them. They would then in turn take them to location (I'm guessing a safe house of sorts.) They give them a place to stay and a job, making jewelry, etc.

I'm not going to lie. It sounds dangerous. But what an incredible opportunity and privilege, to be able to see someone's entire future change because of your courage and boldness. (Well, Christ's courage and boldness from the holy spirit, but you know what I'm talking about!) I am SO proud that she is going to be doing something SO mighty and life-changing. What an honor.

Mayhay, I love you so much, it's almost silly! I am so proud of you and all you are doing. You are an inspiration to me and all of us girls you left at home. God is going to use you in ways you have only dreamed of. He is going to use you to change lives...You have already changed mine. I pray safety all over you! You are my sister and best friend, I love you!

My Worldview. Or Godview. How about "My View".

2008-10-16T19:18:00.000-07:00

So I just had some dialogue through Facebook with a friend of mine. We feel differently about alot of things and it got me thinking (as it normally does when we talk,) what exactly do I think and why? She mentioned my worldview. "Worldview" a word that we through around alot, but do we ever really verbalize it? Have you ever really pondered and expressed your worldview? Not someone else's words....but your own? I have finally done it, and I wanted to share it with you. Here is an excerpt of my responses to my friend. Just a peek into my brain:

"I love to read peoples views on God and the world. I do not take anything that anyone (author or otherwise) says as gospel. That is reserved for the Bible. I read things and let the Holy Spirit reveal to me if it is truth or not. I also compare it to his word. Secondly, I base my life and my ideas on the life of Jesus. I figure, if Christ was God's spirit on earth, and perfect and righteous, then what better life to follow after. Him alone.

Let me preface this next section, I don't agree with Obama, nor do I want him to be president. But I am not so concerned with my "freedom as a believer" as I am my relationship with people. (We were talking about the definition of marriage and other religious freedoms here.) You may not agree with this, but I don't think that God cares how "America" defines marriage as he is how I treat homosexuals. The bottom line is that HE defines marriage as between a man and woman. I define marriage that way. But if I alienate homosexuals (the people that God is after) because I am worried about losing my freedom as a believer, then I have just lost my witness. Jesus didn't make them feel unworthy, he ate with them. He didn't point a finger in their face and say, you are wrong and I am right, he won them over with love. I have a gay friend at school. And my one and only goal is to demonstrate Christ's joy, and unrequited love. Not based on who you are or what you have done. Now, if he asked me, I will tell him that I do not agree with his lifestyle, but I don't agree with mine either sometimes. I will tell him that I care for him and love him and that God is after him.

My world view is that all that matters is the eternal, everything else will burn and die. Jesus came for souls, for his children. And that is my focus. Governments will fall. Politics will change. These earthly kingdoms are secondary to HIS kingdom. My worldview is that I am NOT of this world. That's why it is not my main concern.

The bottom line is: I care more about people and showing them Christ's light than I do about what America does and doesn't do. It's okay if we don't agree, I kinda like that about us. I just wanted to let you know where I was coming from. I appreciate your prayers and will pray for you too."

Your friend and sister in Christ,
Steen

I hope that this inspires you to think about what you believe and why. And I would love to hear your worldview, in your own words, tell me your worldview (or Godview!)

One point Graduated Bob, Whos ya momma?!?

2008-10-08T16:00:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so today at school we learned to do a 1-point graduated bob (like Victoria Beckham) and I nailed it! YAYA, YAYA! Well, after a little help from the instructor. But you know how it goes. I was so proud. I know, it's just one haircut. But a lot of people get some variation of the cut and it gave me so much confidence. Which, you need in this biz. So world, watch out for me and my scissors.....DON'T MAKE ME CUT YOU! Cause now, I wouldn't hesitate!

Oh, by the way, I am officially on the floor at school so I can take clients. Come in and see me, I am there from 9-2 Tuesday through Friday. Cobb Beauty College in Kennesaw. Prices are cheap, (we are still learning after all!) Love you all and thanks for your support!

A tribute to the Three Amigos: Tayhaymaysteenster

2008-10-06T12:55:00.000-07:00

Here are just a few pictures from the past few years of me, Amanda, and Tara. We have taken 3 road trips together. We have been close friends for the past 3 years. (Ever since Peypey was born! I think all of us watching her being born bonded us for life!) We are quite a threesome. Triple threat. Three's company. Tri-angels if you will... Man, I crack myself up! Love you both, and miss you both.

>

Forever...

Good day Mate, care to go on a walkabout?

2008-10-02T16:55:00.000-07:00

So I just put my sister on a plane to Australia. Poopers. I cried. But I am still in denial about it. I don't feel like she is gone. I don't know when it will hit me. I think right now I am going to turn off all the lights and crawl into bed and call it a day. Of my trio, I am the only one left. Tayhaymaysteenster has just become steenster. It's a good thing I'm a rockstar and will bounce back fast.

P.S. I have Vertical Reality this weekend, and will post more when I get back. But until then, I love you Mayhay my darling. You are my one and only see-ster!

Top Ten (First Edition)

2008-09-27T18:30:00.000-07:00

Top Ten Things you may not know about me. (Or maybe you do!)

10. I like to sing opera. Badly.
9. I am NOT disciplined by nature. Quite lazy in fact.
8. I secretly like Miley Cyrus.
7. I listen to the same CD for about a month before I change it.
6. My favorite drink is a Roy Rodgers. Yeah, I know.
5. My eyes water when I yawn.
4. I daydream... constantly.
3. My eyes water when I get my hair done.
2. Family is VERY important to me.
1. (The sad thing is, most of you know this about me!) My eyes water when I poop.

I am a very odd person. Not to mention a weird eye connection with the rest of my body!

Big kids at the Fair...

2008-09-24T19:36:00.000-07:00

So the fam went to the North Georgia Fair over the weekend and I must say, we had a BALL! We had fun ourselves and loved watching Eli and Peyton have fun. Eli rode a few rides, which just thrilled us all so much. There is nothing better in this world than my E smiling with joy, as you will see in the following pictures. We made some great memories and you can't beat that. Here are just a few of the candid pics from the fair.

Eli giving daddy a high five every time the carousel went around!

Me and Eli going down the huge slide together...

Eli attempting to jump on the trampoline with the harness, he liked it until it took him too high! He decided to give his turn to his uncle AJ.

Speaking of AJ. Oh heavens...

And my favorite! Of course we should of known that Nemo would have made him smile!

Thank you Amanda for suggesting we go. Thank you Mom and Dad for making us do it. And thank you God for giving me such an incredible family. I love you all.

The better world shopping guide.

2008-09-22T10:09:00.000-07:00

So while we were in Asheville, I bought a book about a subject that had been on my mind. I have blogged about it before. Being a better consumer. Supporting people and companies that are trying to make a difference in this world. Well, this book was an answer to alot of questions that I had. It spells out the companies that are making a good impact and the ones that are not. It rates companies A-F according to everything from their impact on the environment, human rights, philanthropy, corporate crime, community involvement and so on. The man who wrote it has been researching this for over 15 years and it is very thorough. If you want more info than I am going to give you, you can check out www.betterworldshopper.org. I will continue to post things along this subject and please let me know if you want more, because I will tell you...this is very interesting and eye opening.

The below list represents the 10 BEST companies on the planet based on their overall social and environmental records.

1. Seventh Generation
2. Patagonia
3. American Apparel
4. Eden Foods
5. Tom's of Maine
6. Ben & Jerry's
7. Working Assets
8. Clif Bar
9. Sonyfield Farms
10. Aveda

The below list represents the 10 WORST companies on the planet based on their overall social and environmental records.
1. Exxon-Mobil
2. Altria (Philip Morris)
3. Wal-mart
4. Chevron-Texaco
5. Pfizer
6. Nestle
7. Tyson Foods
8. General Electric
9. Archer Daniels Midland
10. General Motors

If you are wondering, the book does offer companies in EVERY category that are good companies. Like the one of the best places you can by gas is from BP/Amoco. A couple of the best retail stores is IKEA & REI (both A companies.) Target is alot better than Wal-mart. This a wonderful book that really maps out how to make a difference with our purchases. It has everything from a HUGE range of food companies to airlines, retail, utilities and cosmetics. If any of ya'll are interested in more information please let me know or check out his website. More about this to come, I promise. We can make a difference, every dollar counts!

The Hair torch!

2008-09-22T10:00:00.000-07:00

So last night we had a "Passing of the Hair Torch" ceremony. Well, not so much as a ceremony as a night of doing hair. My sister showed me her tricks and we transferred all friends and family clients to me while she is away. I did my first haircut on a real person, and my first foils! YAY! More pics will follow, but for now, here is some of last night!

Resistant to Change?

2008-09-18T19:35:00.000-07:00

I like change, it keeps things exciting...Doesn't it? I do like change, in relatively normal size doses. You know, one thing at a time. Like a job change, or relationship change, or buying/ selling a car, you kids starting school, people close to you moving away, you know stuff like that. BUT WHAT IF ALL OF IT CHANGED AT THE EXACT SAME TIME?!?!?!? UUUUHHHHHGGGGG, this is CRAZY! I just started school, I have to start work, I haven't talked to my best friend in weeks, my roomie (Amy) is moving out in 2 weeks, we are selling one of our cars, Peypey starts school in less than 2 weeks, and my only beautiful, wonderful sister is moving across the world! How is a person supposed to deal with all of this?

I know the Sunday School answer is God. Yes, he is here for me and will get me through. But come on, really? This is a load. Yes, Andy, I just said "load." Why does it alway seem to happen this way? Everything at once, this isn't the first time this has happened. It's just alot to deal with, and I am trying. I miss Tara, I miss my kids during the day, and I don't want to even THINK about Mayhay leaving...

She leaves 2 weeks from today.

Wow, I just sat here for like 10 minutes because I don't even know what to type following that. I will write about her alot more over the next 2 weeks. Looking forward to spending the day with her tomorrow! We are going to have alot of fun, a day of pampering (for her!) I guess just focusing on one day at a time is a start...

Asheville, America's Hippie Town

2008-09-14T16:02:00.000-07:00

So me and Andy got to go to Asheville a couple of weekends ago to celebrate our 7th wedding anniversary! We had a blast, that is until Andy got sick :( But we still had a good time after that just resting and chilling in the motel room. I love Asheville, it's a great town where I feel very at home. Very artsy and relaxed. Definitely a hippie town, people in dreads playing their guitars or sipping on coffee, I really liked it. We had fun, walking around the city, shopping at different shops, painted some pottery, ate some great food, listened to music in the park, good times.

The drive up was so great. We drove the jeep and had the top off, a.m. was pretty cold but as the day worn on it was perfect. We left fairly early in the morning and as we drove up 575 I realized how different everything looked in the morning. Dew was every where, and it made everything sparkle. It looked almost as if there was glitter strewn on all the grass and bushes. Every blade of grass stood out and sparkled, it was quite beautiful! Plus it was foggy. And fog is great because it makes everything feel and look different. Magical or mystical. Sometimes fog makes me feel like I am in another place, like I stepped into Lord of the Rings or some other mystical land.

Anywho, you know how sometimes if you catch it just right, you can see the suns rays breaking through the clouds? Or if a tree is blocking the sun, you can see the rays outlining everywhere the sun can push through? I LOVE seeing the suns rays, it ALWAYS reminds me of God. I am not sure why, I feel like it is him shining down on me, a visible reminder and I love it. I realized as I was riding along that it wasn't until something blocked the sun that I could see the rays shining around it. Clouds or tree lines, it took something to block it for me to see God shine around it...I think that we can see that in our lives. Something gets in our way, blocks our sight of God...and it is then that we see him shine around it. Nothing can block him completely because he is everywhere, infinite. Not only do I love my Abba Daddy, but I love and appreciate when he reveals truths about himself through things that I enjoy and understand.

McCain vs. Obama, Does God Care?

2008-09-13T10:26:00.000-07:00

I am not going to lie. I am alittle confused about this election. It's not about Republicans vs. Democrates because I am not either one. It's more about issues, what issues does God care about? Poverty, loving one another, people's lives, etc. I know that Jesus loves babies, and I believe that abortion is wrong. But does God care about them more than the innocent children dying in Iraq? I don't think so. I am not a fan of this war. I believe that their are times for war, especially when we are defending people who can't otherwise defend themselves (WWII). And I don't agree with this one, BUT I don't want it to be handled wrong at the end and had been for nothing. See where I am having issues with the issues?!?

What does GOD care about? Does he even care who should be president? The only thing I know for sure about Jesus' beliefs on politics is that he hated when people did terrible things in God's name, the pharisees for example. They were the Jewish politics of the day, and he despised them. But Rome was the super power of the day, and he didn't really say much about them.... So where does that leave us?

I know that it is my "duty as an American citizen" to vote. And I know that I need to. But my first duty is NOT to America. It is to My Jesus. So what do I do? I would love some feed back from you guys. I did a little research today and here are a few things that I liked that both candidates said at their speeches at their respective conventions.

Obama: talking about the parties uniting...
"We may not agree on abortion, but surely we can agree on reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies in this country. The reality of gun ownership may be different for hunters in rural Ohio than for those plagued by gang-violence in Cleveland, but don't tell me we can't uphold the Second Amendment while keeping AK-47s out of the hands of criminals. I know there are differences on same-sex marriage, but surely we can agree that our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters deserve to visit the person they love in the hospital and to live lives free of discrimination. Passions fly on immigration, but I don't know anyone who benefits when a mother is separated from her infant child or an employer undercuts American wages by hiring illegal workers. This too is part of America's promise - the promise of a democracy where we can find the strength and grace to bridge divides and unite in common effort."

McCain: He loves this country, I may not agree with how much he loves it, but I would think that it would be a good quality for a president!.....
"I'm not running for president because I think I'm blessed with such personal greatness that history has anointed me to save our country in its hour of need. My country saved me. My country saved me, and I cannot forget it. And I will fight for her for as long as I draw breath, so help me God.
If you find faults with our country, make it a better one. If you're disappointed with the mistakes of government, join its ranks and work to correct them. Enlist in our Armed Forces. Become a teacher. Enter the ministry. Run for public office. Feed a hungry child. Teach an illiterate adult to read. Comfort the afflicted. Defend the rights of the oppressed. Our country will be the better, and you will be the happier. Because nothing brings greater happiness in life than to serve a cause greater than yourself. "

At this point and time, I have NO idea who I am going to vote for, if I even do vote. How about ya'll, what do you think?

Welp, Big Gulps...

2008-09-10T16:34:00.000-07:00

Sorry, it's been 12 hundred years since I have blogged. And unfortunately, it's been a packed 2 weeks. ALOT has happened, which hopefully I will blog all about. Just to help keep me accountable, I am going to list the things I want to blog about so ya'll can make sure I write about them all. If I start to slack, just smack me back into place!

1. Politics: I am having some confusion about it all.... Does God even care? And if so, what does he care more about? (More to follow...)
2. The drive up to Asheville. Yes, we went to Asheville and had an incredible time, until Andy got sick! (More to follow...)
3. My new favorite band: Flobots. (Again, more to come...)
4. Andy and I have just recovered from strep throat, and God used it to teach me some things! (Yes, more later!)
5. I have discovered that I am in a new phase of life.... you know the drill....
6. My jawbreaker progress....
7. School...
8. Eli is POTTY TRAINED! No more to follow on that but a PRAISE JESUS! Do I hear an amen?
9. Accountability with my spiritual walk...

So as you can see I have alot that I want to catch you up on and questions that I need help answering. I have received alot of revelations and affirmation over the past few weeks but also have some unanswered and lingering questions. Please keep me accountable to blog about all of these things cause I need that to follow through sometimes. Life has been really busy, even more than I thought it would be. I am definitely still trying to adjust. I love you all and thank you for your prayers.

Happy Birthday to Tara!

2008-09-03T17:12:00.001-07:00

So, Happy Birthday honey! Just a little something silly to brighten your day...

UUUHHHHHHGGGGG! So I am trying to post a video I made for you, but it WON'T let me! So I will try to post it sometime soon. I love you, and miss you and hope that you are having an awesome birthday. Hope to talk to you soon love!

Well slap me silly and call me Peacock.

2008-08-29T21:23:00.001-07:00

Yes, I was the project for my class this week. They all had a hand in creating my fun new colorful hair. And no, I don't normally where make-up, much less this much! My instructor made me over for a little photoshoot fun!

Rooted in sin, but grew into glory.

2008-08-25T12:55:00.000-07:00

So I am not sure how all of you will feel about this post. So feel free to be honest about it. Most of you have heard by now about the song "Healer". It is a powerful song about God's healing power. It was written by a man who was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Well, so we thought. It turns out that for 2 years, this man had mislead his church, the world, maybe even his family. He was NOT dying. His was all an act.

After hearing this news, I was surprised how UNaffected I felt. I wasn't really upset or sad or angry. Maybe it's because of the whole Todd Bentley issue, I am learning slowly not to put my hope and faith into people, but rather what God is doing through people in spite of our flaws! Anywho, I wondered alittle bit how it would make me feel next time I went to sing it. And sure enough I got my chance to this past Sunday.

I didn't feel anything other than love and passion for my creator. The truth is the truth. And the truth is, that God IS my healer, he is all I need. More than enough for me.

But it did get me to thinking about some stuff. I think that we as Christians need to face something. That the truth doesn't always come from a "christian" box. It's not always neat and clean. The truth can be found in other things like liberals, democrats, secular music, even a lie. Because I believe that somehow, through God's redemption, truth came from a lie in this case. This song was created in deception, lies, and schemes. But it shouts the truth of God's love and grace. Isn't it interesting? What do ya'll think about this?

I personally think that we can find God's truth in "ungodly" places. I seem to be able to stumble across them anywhere!

Recap of my first week...

2008-08-19T17:56:00.000-07:00

So my first week of school went great. I have learned some things about my self... How bout I share?

A. It is not as hard as I thought to wake up early.
B. My least favorite thing to do is wrap perms.
C. I treat my mannequin, Nuni, like a person.
D. I like to be good at things and if I'm not, I don't like it!
E. I am a perfectionist.
F. My least favorite thing to do is wrap perms.
G. I really like to meet fun, different types of people.
H. I love and miss my kiddies.
I. I have to recite the alphabet to remember what letter comes next.
J. I need food at least every 3 hours.
K. The thought of wrapping 63 more perms doesn't make me ultra excited.
L. I like facials and skin care way more than I thought.
M. I like bookwork, who knew?
N. I forgot how hard it is to have a 9-5.
O. Jeez, the perms! Lol...
P. No matter how hard I try, I won't eat the sack lunch I bring from home.
Q. I like Mexican and country style food too much!
R. There are alot of funny jokes you can make while rolling perms!
S. I am learning to keep track of EVERYTHING I do, little and big.
T. Reminder: you can't judge a book by it's cover.
U. I do not like hair on me.
V. Nor in my comb.
W. I have am glad to have some one to go through this with, thanks Ames.
X. I have great friends who will let me experiment on them.
Y. Maybe I should specify, I only hate straight back perms...
Z. I AM REALLY GOING TO LOVE THIS!

P.S. Shout out to my amazingly wonderful sister who completed my first week of school perfectly. She surprised me on Saturday afternoon with flowers and candy! How lucky am I? Thank you Mayhay for making my already great first week even better! I love you...Thank you for inspiring me to do this!

Peace and Bubbles.

2008-08-14T19:06:00.000-07:00

Okay, sorry guys. This one is for Tara. Every now and then, I have to do this. And gushy alert: Forewarning of the mushy.

Tara, you have been gone for 47 days. In Alias, this is somehow a significant number. I can't help but see the correlation. Today is the day that I officially miss you. I mean, I have missed you up until now trust me. It was a missing but not the "I broke down because I realized that not only am I going to miss you this minute, but I will continue to have to miss you for the next 10 months" miss you. If THAT could possible make any sense! :)

I just talked to you a few minutes ago. I love talking to you, it makes me feel happy. I got off with you to get in the bath, and preceded to cry. I mean, cry. That blubbery, silent "I don't want anyone to hear me" cry. I am crying right now. I miss you. You bring me joy. I miss your excitement and passion and upliftment. Is that even a word? Lol... And for those of you reading this not Tara, I know that everything is as it should be, I know that we are both were we are supposed to be and I know that God has something to teach me in all of this. I am not looking for an answer or solution or anything....I just miss my best friend.

I feel so lucky, most people are not this lucky. I not only have a husband who is my best friend and partner. But I have you, my counter part and kindred spirit. I love you and am so happy that you are living your dream. But.....I am aching. I wish I could call you and tell you about the funny thing that happened to me, the old ladies that asked me to have lunch with them today, school, the kids, things I don't understand. I miss you. I love you and miss you...it sounds so stupid saying it this many times. I wish there were other words to say it. How can 3 short little words mean so much? It's not dramatic enough for me. :) And you know that I love the dramatic. Trust me, I look dramatic right now....sitting at the computer crying.

I love you, and think about you a gazillion times a day. I am praying for you and with I could see you soon. Maybe next time it's raining I'll pretend to walk with you in the rain....well, there go the waterworks again! BLAH!

You are my sunshine.
Peace and Bubbles.

Who do YOU look to?

2008-08-14T17:53:00.000-07:00

So I found out some sad information today. For those of you who know me well, know that I have followed, watched, and attended the Lakeland revival. There has been relentless criticism of the revival and of Todd personally. A few days ago Todd announced that his marriage is over. And today, all of the naysayers get to say "I told you so."

Except they shouldn't.

Who do you look to? Did you go the revival to see the crazy tattooed preacher man? Or did you go to experience God? If you went for the latter, then you found it I am sure. If you went or watched for the first, then that's probably all you got. No one, even Todd ever said that he was worthy to carry such a move of God. God uses broken people to carry out his works, and I have heard Todd say that MANY times over. This revival was never about him or his short comings. It was about showing the world a part of God that we tend to shy away from. We don't like to talk or hear about the things we don't understand, and I believe whole-heartedly that God used Todd Bentley to usher in a movement that will not soon stop, if ever.

I am praying for Todd and his family. The pressure and attention that this revival must of put on his family had to have been intolerable. I pray for reconciliation and forgiveness and love.

And for all of the people who are relishing in this man's pain, all of the "christians" that are saying, "SEE! I told you that man wasn't from God!", I truly feel sorry for you. He has his issues and don't we all, but don't criticize a man for his passion and desire to see God move in a tangible way. At least he put himself out there and tried to change the world. If more people got off their bums and did something instead of criticizing those who do, the world would be a better place. Who do we look to? Instead of looking to preachers and authors and people, let's just look to God. Chances are, you will find him somewhere you wouldn't of expected!

"Mandanas"

2008-08-09T10:06:00.000-07:00

I was SO pumped to get my new bag in the mail today. This is a bag I ordered from a little shop in Chattanooga called The World Next Door. Ya'll have heard me talk about it before I know. The last couple of times I was up there, this bag caught my eye. I LOVED it. I just never had a reason to get a large shoulder bag, until now! I need one for school, for my notebooks and books, etc. So immediately I decided I wanted to get the tree bag.

A few days later I was in Target, one of my favorite overall stores, and saw a couple of bags I liked. Not as much as the tree bag mind you, but I thought that maybe it would just be easier to get one of those so I wouldn't have to order the other and pay shipping. Then, out of nowhere, I thought about an article about a documentary that I had wanted to watch called What would Jesus buy. Now I know that it sounds really corny, but it talked about big chain stores and sweatshops and the little guys not making it. And it hit me, if I really wanted to make a difference in the world, why not pay attention to where I buy stuff? The WND is a fair trade fed. member. All their products are purchased from the "little guys" in other countries, therefore supporting people who otherwise can't make a living. So, as corny as it sounds....What would Jesus buy? Who would he want to support? Where would he want his money to go? I put the bag down and asked Andy to go ahead with the bag online. Look at the tag that came with the bag:

This is a fair trade product, handmade by artisans of Marwar villages in Rajasthan, India. This applique work is done by women of these villages. The applique designs are inspired by nature & "Mandanas" (traditional patterns made on floor". These are draught prone regions and this art is the main source of income in drought & non agricultural times. Income from this art helps in development of this community by bringing education, electricity, and healthcare.

Now, would I have that same experience had I bought at Target? No way. I am not saying let's all boycott Target, hardly. Let's just think about some of the things that we could get somewhere else, at a place that could make a difference. You want some original jewelry? Go to a fair trade store, their jewelry is beautiful and handcrafted. Gifts? They have a variety of fun and different gifts, from cloths to accessories, to journals made from elephant dung! I think that might be my next purchase! Lol. My point is, let's just hide this in our heart and think before we make our next purchase. I am learning that the little things matter, they make a difference.

Check out worldnextdoormarket.blogspot.com, they have a link to their online store. It's awesome. Shout out to Nathan and his wife! Thanks for all you have done to make a difference!

E all grown up!

2008-08-04T11:58:00.000-07:00

So today was Eli's first day of kindergarten! What?!? Am I old enough to have a child in elementary school? I don't feel that old, but then some days I feel 37. Some thing about having children (not babies, but children) makes one feel older than they are. I am SO excited about this year though. We are so blessed to have an amazing teacher for Eli. He is in a self-contained autistic classroom with 2 other little boys, (both autistic) as well as a teacher and para-pro. He is going to be in a perfect environment to learn and grow. He will get to have speech therapy and OT, but get the benefit of being with the regular ed kids at lunch, PE, art, and music throughout the week! The best of both worlds, one on one learning time but social interaction with a lot of other kids.

And his teacher is perfect, she is VERY knowledgeable about autism and strict when it come to teaching and making a difference, but she also LOVES Eli so much. She jokes around that if he comes home one day with his cheeks missing it's because she kissed them all off! But I know that she will be on Andy and I to incorporate as much learning at home as possible, she will be able to help us at home as well as in the classroom, which is just so above and beyond what we could ask for. I can't thank God enough for the amazing teachers he has put in my kids life! His teacher from last year (pre-k) misses him so much, she decided to work in his class in Waumba Land on Sundays so she could be with him! Isn't that amazing! I can't wait to see how much he changes over the next year...it's going to be great to watch! I will keep ya'll updated on how he is doing. FYI: He had a GREAT first day!

I love my adorable E so much, he has so much to offer the world. He has offered me a different perspective, patience and acceptance. He has shown me that the world is not black and white, there are shades of grey and to never judge a book by it's cover. He has brought me extreme joy, as well as tears. But it is in the tears that I learn and stretch. He has taught me gratitude. God has used him to show me his glory manifested. I have never seen a person that holds such Godly favor among man before. People see God's hand on his life and it draws them to him. I am so proud to call Eli my son. How much more is God proud to call us his.

Jawbreaker Progress....Slow and Steady

2008-08-03T19:07:00.000-07:00

Wow, this is harder than I thought. It's WAY tougher than regular jawbreakers. Sometimes my tongue starts to bleed, and unfortunately when that happens I have to day a 2 to 3 day break to let it rest. What can I say, you have to suffer for your art! Lol, it's definitely slow and steady. If anyone wants to change their guess, now would be the time to do it. Remember, this is barely over a month.

Our awesome photo shoot...

2008-07-27T20:32:00.000-07:00

So Andy decided that it was sad that we didn't have any updated pictures of us together as a couple and suggested an impromptu photo shoot today. So being the girl that I am, got VERY excited and quickly got ready for an awesome day of playing "America's Next Top Model!" I had a blast with Andy and here is just a little of what transpired:

My Master Mischief Maker!

2008-07-24T12:07:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am talking about my sweet 2 year old angel, Peyton. As of the past week, she has turned from beautiful princess angel to the Master Mischief and Mayhem Maker! Although, I will say that she is having some help from her brother! Every day for the past week, I have had multiple mini-catastrophes. EVERY day. Here are just a few examples of what she and her brother have put me through.

One morning, I was in the living room talking to Amy and the kids were in the kitchen. I am not sure how I didn't hear it happening...I only heard it once it was too late. They had found our stash of bottled water and preceded to open 8 or 9 bottles and pour them out on the kitchen floor....flooding it! It took me about a dozen towels to get it all up! Same day, a few hours later, they found my sugar container. Yeah....I know. They dumped the whole thing out ( a big canister full), out in the living room carpet. The sugar thing has happened TWICE this week as apparently I didn't learn my lesson the first time!

My M.M.M. apparently has a new found taste for candles. Yes, candles. She likes to EAT them! Her brother takes a kitchen chair somewhere random to get what he wants and leaves it there for his sister to find any candles with in range. A few nights ago, I come down stairs to her entire face and hair being dyed red from her eating/smearing/smashing a candle everywhere! What the heck!?!?

WARNING: THIS NEXT STORY CONTAIN GRAPHIC/ VULGAR MATERIAL NOT SUITABLE FOR SOME...
The grossest/ funniest of the week has been Peypey's pooping habits. For some reason, as soon as you put a swimmy diaper on her she decides to poop. The problem with this is that swimmy diapers are not meant to absorb pee or poop, just to contain it. But if you get in the water, be ready for a steady wash of poo to disperse. Twice, I had to dump the pool and refill it because of poo water. The third time, I actually got the poo of her before she could get in the pool. I was washing her down with the hose but still couldn't get the poo out of the crack with out wiping it...(Sorry, this is alittle graphic I know....) So I run inside to get a couple of wipes. I walk back out just in time to see Peypey sliding down the slide bare butt leaving a nice smear of poo trailing her down. This is my daughter, with whom I am well pleased! :)

Then today, it was a little more serious. The kids where playing at the kitchen table, Eli messing with the chandelier and Peypey playing next to him in a chair when the massive, 100 pound chandelier fell. It was the most scariest moment of my life. The glass from the underside lights shattered everywhere, it was inches from hitting the kids. If any of you have ever seen this light, you know the danger of all of this. I was so freaked out, luckily Andy came home and cleaned it all up for me. When it comes to cleaning up glass, he is the man!

So as you can all see, this has been a heck of a week. I am even leaving out a few of the not so entertaining stories. I have NEVER used the vaccum or wipes as much in my life as I have this week. Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday!

WORDS TO LIVE BY!

2008-07-21T12:48:00.000-07:00

For those of you who read Tara's blog, this will be a repeat for you. But read it again. I will read it every day, because it is a FUNDAMENTAL principle that can change your life, and the lives of those around you. I know that God spoke these words to Tara, but it is crazy how I feel like he spoke them to her to speak to me! I feel his presence every time I read this. His presence always seems to follow truth.

Tara's most recent blog from her site: tarabruce.theworldrace.org

"Be still and know that I am God."
Breathe deep. Still yourself before Me. Listen for My voice. I am longing to speak to you. Wait. Sit. Be. I only want you, not what you can do for me. Just come and sit with me for a while. Soak in my presence. I have mysteries I long to reveal to you. I have created you for so much more. I did not create you to survive, but to thrive. Breathe in me. Breathe in my presence. Can you hear me now?

As I sat in the river God began to speak. Don't you hear it? All of creation around you is worshiping me! Listen to the birds, the river, the trees. You are the only creation with a choice to choose what you were made for: to worship me with your life. It's your choice every single day. Choose me.

I loved this moment with the Lord and I cherish our talks. I sat there wondering how I could not choose HIM. I have tasted and I have seen his love and goodness. His embrace is endless and his presence is all I long for. I will take a deep breath and breathe him in and as I exhale with breathe his presence on others and worship the Lord most high!

A Great Reminder!

2008-07-16T12:16:00.000-07:00

Geez, sometimes I just don't get how we can be so DENSE! We are humans, very little. And God is SO big! How do we forget this? I also love how hindsight is 20/20! One of my favorite things is looking back over a period of time and actually seeing God maneuver people and timing to be right where he needs it and seeing everything just fall into place. I mean, he knew all along that it was going to work out that way...But if you were to go to that person in the moment, there is NO way they could see it!

Two months ago, there is NO way that I could see what God was doing. I knew that he was orchestrating something...I just had no clue as to what. No clue. Now, I find myself going to cosmetology school in less than a month. With my sister-in-law. For less than $2,000. Yeah, crazy! And I couldn't be more excited! It was all God, and looking back, I can see every chess move that he made to get me here. Why do I ever worry about anything? You would think that all of my past experience (especially MY past) would remind me that I am NOT in control. And I am quite happy about that by the way. Cause he does a great job with my life and I am incredibly thankful!

I just want to remind myself and you that HE is in control of EVERYTHING! Jobs, your children, college, majors, the people you meet, timing, where you live, and places you travel to. Everything. He is big, and he can do whatever he wants or needs to to get you to where you need to be. He is in control. So just relax, and allow him to guide you. It might be bumpy at times, but I promise, it will be a fun ride.

Okay, you asked for it!

2008-07-13T13:40:00.000-07:00

Alrighty, here goes...

I'm going to start a list of guesses per your requests. Who thinks I will be done with the jaw breaker when? Let me here your guess. And the winner will get, you guessed it: a jaw breaker! (Regular sized of course...not anyone can handle an extra-large.) Okay, so here is where I am at as of right now.

Now, keep in mind that I have been working on it for 2 weeks. Good luck!

The one year Jaw Breaker...

2008-07-12T06:25:00.000-07:00

So here is one of my hobbies. Jaw breakers. Now, I have become a professional jaw-breaker licker over the past few years. But I will be honest, I have not yet been challenged, until I saw this baby! We found it in Chattanooga at the "Candy land" candy store. As soon as I saw it, I knew that it HAD to be mine... The man said that it takes the average person a year, but he's never seen MY work! Haha... So needless to say, I am going to try to set a record. (I wonder what IS the record for most ginormous jaw-breaker? Must look that up.) So like a blogging nerd, I am going to document my progress complete with pictures. :) Wish me luck!

P.S. This thing weighs like 2 or 3 pounds, it's insane. I think I might consider it a biceps work out too!

Warring with the Enemy.

2008-07-07T11:14:00.000-07:00

Okay, so for those of you who know me well, you know that I am a positive, upbeat, joyful, glass is half full kind of girl. This is partially why this post will be so disturbing. I am not writing it to disturb you, in fact I am writing it for many reasons. I will tell you those in un momento. First, you need to know that I firmly believe in spiritual warfare. It is real, it is intense and it is very, very serious. Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy for sure. Another thing that is important to know is that many, if not most of the battles take place in your mind because that is what he is after. Okay, so why am I sharing what I am about to share with you?

A. You need to know that EVERYBODY is fair game to the enemy. And even a "happy" person can get dragged into the gutter.

2. I want to show just an example of how Satan can trap you and try to take your mind so you will be prepared against such an attack.

C. I need your prayers. When the enemy attacks me it is extremely intense as you will see. Which just shows that God has amazing plans for my life and the life of my children, so I need all the prayer cover I can get!

4. I want you to know the real me. For accountability, for intimacy and a real relationship. I am not interested in faking anything for anyone.

All that being said, here is what happened to me this weekend: We all have bad days. We have "off" days where we feel down, sad, for no particular reason. I had a couple on Thursday and Friday. Just blah days... I felt lonely, depressed, boring, and down right pitiful. Tara is gone, we didn't have any plans for the Fourth, etc. That was phase one, the spirit of depression. I didn't recognize it because it is subtle. It was his entry. (Let me clarify real quick my belief on how demons work. Once you have the Holy Spirit inside you, demons can not "enter" you. I believe that they can attach to you and attempt to gain control over your mind and make your life miserable, but they can't take you over.) So without me even realizing it, the demon of depression had it's talon in me. The second phase was the spirit of lies. He showed himself slowly, a lie here and there so as not to alarm me. If you are suddenly bombarded with many lies at once, you realize that it is an attack and it's easier to fight against, but if it's slowly...you don't even realize it's happening.

"I am not the best parent for my children." "I am not doing enough to help them." "I am lazy and pathetic." "I can't even get out of my pj's!"

(Remember, the enemy is trying to take over your mind, so the thoughts will be camaflouged as if your own thoughts. But they are NOT!)

So this lasted for a few days. Couldn't sleep well on Saturday night, completely restless. Then all of the sudden Sunday morning, full on ambush. All morning I was heavy, I mean really heavy. I almost didn't go to church simply because I didn't want to keep moving. I started to realize what was happening, that it was the enemy...then all hades broke loose. Once I realized what was happening there became a combat with in myself. It was SO weird. Almost like an out of body experience. I knew how to fight it, but for some reason I didn't care. I was literally arguing with myself. One the way to church while me and the kids were in the car, it got way worse. The third demon showed itself. Now, there are only a few times that this vile creature has ever attacked me, the first time I will never forget. It almost won. Satan doesn't usually use it because I immediately know that it his him and tell him to get lost. But he knew that I was unusually weak that Sunday morning and tried it again. The demon of suicide. I know that it sounds terrible and shocking. But it's Satan, what do you expect? I'm going to give you a brief moment into my car ride to church, the war that waged between the Holy Spirit and the demons:

Suicide: "Maybe I should just hit that car coming on the on ramp and be done with this. My kids are autistic, they are going to suffer. They would be better off going to heaven."

Holy Spirit: "God has a plan for me, God is going to use Eli and Peyton like I can't even imagine!"

Suicide: "I'm tired of fighting an uphill battle. They are not getting better."

Holy Spirit: "Just tell these nasty demons to leave me alone and they will leave. I have power over them, they have to obey me!"

Lies: "I don't even care. I'm not strong enough. I'm weak and tired."

Holy Spirit: "Just get to Andy when you get to church, he will war on my behalf."

Lies: "He is too busy, he'll just think that I want attention and am acting out."

Holy Spirit: "He loves me and would do anything for me. He would drop the entire morning service to free me from this!"

This is just a couple of minutes of the torture that is spiritual warefare. Long story short, I made it to Andy. And he did war on my behalf, he prayed and told the spirits to leave me and they did. Within a few minutes I felt strong, like I could do anything. Exactly like God intends me to feel! I am so thankful that I have a husband who understands the war that is waged against us, and uses the authority that the Holy Spirit gives us to defend against it. I still don't know why I couldn't war on my OWN behalf, I am praying for God to help me understand that. But I know that that is why he calls us to live in community with others, so that we will have people around us to fight this fight with. So next time you start thinking things that are contractory to what you know is the truth, recognize it for what it is: lies. Tell it to leave in Jesus name (aloud). And be free. Freedom is what God has called us to, it's what He desires for us. So let's live in it. Always feel free to call me or email me if you need prayer or warring! I don't think that it is a coincidence that this happened a week after Tara left, she kept me strong. So Tara, honey, keep praying for me. I know that I don't need you here, but I know what an awesome prayer warrior you are!

Thank you all for loving and supporting me through good and bad times. God has a plan for my life and the life of my family, and I am SICK and TIRED of the enemy trying to steal from me, kill me, and destroy me! So I ask you to join me in waging war against our ENEMY!

A Funny Farewell.

2008-07-04T14:14:00.000-07:00

I have been delaying writing about the farewell with Josh and Tara because....well, it's just alittle depressing. But in true Jones and Bruce fashion, it was funny. There were a lot of tears on my end, Tara did pretty good about holding it together. I on the other hand, just let it all out! When we first got to the airport, Andy found a wheelchair and decided he was tired of walking...(we had been walking for about 45 seconds...) We found Josh and Tara inside and we hung out for a little while in the food court before we said our final goodbyes. In that time, Andy broke the wheelchair by popping a few wheelies and falling over backwards. Twice. Boys don't learn the first time. Come to find out they don't learn the second time either, but that's later. We all had a great laugh over Andy laying in the middle of the airport on the floor with the wheel chair upside down next to him with the back ripped off due to the hard impact! We said our final goodbyes and it was quite sad. Not exactly our style. So after we watched them walk to the security area hand in hand, Andy decided on a different goodbye. He followed them and then, as loud as he could, belted out his high pitch girlie laugh. Those of you that have heard it understand what I am talking about. Now, my typing (or words for that matter,) can not possibly convey the hilarity of that moment. Let's just say that the entire airport's attention was on a man laughing and clapping his hands like a little boy, er, little girl. It was the perfect farewell. But what Josh and Tara don't know is that our trip to the airport was not done. On the way out, Andy once again grabs the busted wheel chair and continues to pop wheelies. (I know, I saw that it was not going to end well and tried to warn him, but you know boys...) He ended up falling upside down yet again, slamming into the ground as there was no longer a back to the wheel chair to break his fall. As he was laying on the ground moaning, Joe Brim walked up and stood over him, pointing and laughing. Which thinking about later probably looked really bad to everyone else in the airport that didn't know Andy wasn't handicapped. Anywho, Andy reached up from the ground with his uninjured arm and smacked Joe in the.....well, you know. Down Joe goes, fast food and all! So I just want you to make a mental picture here. Two grown men, strewn about the floor. Upside down well chair. In the Atlanta airport atrium. Busiest airport in the US. Yeah, I was laughing too....

Slip n' Slides and Bubble Bath...

2008-07-02T09:45:00.000-07:00

So birthdays are a big deal in my family and we usually have the same party over and over again. We sing (horribly), eat cake and ice cream, open presents and play games. Now, don't get me wrong, I always have a lot of fun. It's just usually predictable. Well, we decided this year to combine Andy and Eli's party, and because of my recent sadness over Josh and Tara leaving, my parents decided to mix things up a bit! They rented a 40 ft long moon bounce type slip n' slide with a 4 foot pool at the bottom. Oh yes, you heard me right! The best part about it? Pouring bubble bath on it! Eli and Pey-pey LOVED it. They slid a little bit and mostly played at the pool at the bottom getting splashed by all the "big kids" sliding down. When I say "big kids", I mean all the adults! Now, the sliding was incredibly fun, but my favorite part was what I like to call the "bubble mosh pit". The middle part of the slide leveled off and we would pour almost an entire bottle of bubbles in one spot. One by one, a person would slip and fall into the pit of bubbles. Before long, everyone was stuck in one spot and NO WAY OUT! You could get ZERO traction, you were at the mercy of the slimy mess of people. Everyone was covered and no one can go anywhere but into other people. I laughed SO hard. People would get lost under other people and you couldn't tell what body part went to who! I have to say that my head got stuck against my dad's hind quarters, my face in my brothers armpit, and I am pretty sure that I was violated by Kelsey's toe...yeah....crazy, awkward times! But SO much fun, we might just make it a tradition. Pics will follow soon, I promise! Long story short....Giant slip n' slide, 8 hours, and 6 bottles of bubble bath later= amazing memories!

A Miracle, 5 years ago....

2008-06-30T10:18:00.000-07:00

So today is my son, Eli, turns 5! I can't believe that A: Time goes by that fast. And #2: That I have a son that is 5 years old! I love his birthday, and not just for the obvious reasons like parties and cake. (Although, I REALLY like parties and cake!) But I love that it is the anniversary of the most amazing medical miracles. Now, for those of you who have talked to me recently know that I am really excited to see and experience God's healing power over the last few months. But what is so cool is that God had already demonstrated the ultimate miracle that only a handful of people get to see, and I just realized it not too long ago. Yes, I am talking about resurrection of the dead. You see, when Eli was born, he was clinically dead. He was white, lifeless and not breathing for only God knows how long. I have watched the video of his birth only once because it is just too upsetting. They immediately rushed him up to the Neo-natal intensive care unit with an oxygen tube in his throat. One the way up to the NICU, he pulled the tube out of his throat, and started breathing on his own! He was 9.15 pounds when he was born, yeah, I know...

After he had gone up to the 4th floor, the doctor came in and told us more bad news. He had suffered respiratory failure, post-stress disorder, he had broken his collar bone, he would not be able to go home with us from the hospital for a long time, and he would likely not breast-feed. (Which was very sad for me because that was what I had planned.) He was in this little incubator that had tubes running everywhere on his little/huge body, feeding him and monitoring his breathing, heart rate, you name it. We could only go see him every 3 hours and only 2 people at time could go in. It was a very sad but joyous time. Very emotional to say the least, (not too mention my recovery was less than ideal :) But it didn't take very long to see that God had something different in mind for Eli. The next morning after he was born, I went to see him and he immediately started breast feeding with no problem. His breathing and heart was normal so he was allowed to leave the hospital when I was released, and his collar bone healed in record time! It's so amazing to watch him now, playing in the pool and laughing. Watching him jump and play and smile and growing up to be one of the most amazing little boys I have ever met! He has such Godly favor, everyone who ever meets Eli falls in love with him, and I think its because God's hand has been resting on Eli since the moment he was born!

Black Saturday

2008-06-28T09:58:00.000-07:00

So today is Black Saturday. I am sitting here dreading the next 3 hours. In a little bit I am going to head to the airport to say good-bye to my best friend Tara. We have had a fun past 24 hours though...I really don't want to say alot right now as I have already cried once today and I see a 100% chance of rain on my face for the rest of the day. I love you all and are very glad that I have ya'll to have fun with while she is gone, loving the world to life.

Tayhaymaysteenster's last Adventure of 08!

2008-06-25T17:14:00.001-07:00

Andy "The Street Poet"

2008-06-24T20:22:00.000-07:00

So I was reading Tara's blog, and she found the blog site for Nathan, the store owner in Chattanooga. I read his blog that he posted today and it touched me greatly. Only because you never know how one small act can impact so many people. His words were so sweet, I wanted to share them. So here is what happened in Nooga, from his perspective:

Today in the shop three young ladies from Canton, GA (does that make them Cantonese? They definitely weren't Asian...) stopped in and were very excited about our merchandise and what we're doing as a business. Which was really encouraging. They made their purchases and continued on their vacation day. I was glad to have sold some stuff, but didn't really think much of it until they came back in right before closing. They had with them Chattanooga's Street Poet. I haven't caught her name yet, but many of my fellow Chattanoogans know who I'm talking about. For those who don't, she's a woman, probably in her late thirties, who roams downtown and offers to recite an original poem in exchange for a few bucks. I think she's homeless, but I'm not completely sure. I'm pretty sure she's not employed and has a hard time providing for herself. I'm also pretty sure she's not a crackhead or an alcoholic. Anyway the C.S.P. tried on a few outfits for the Cantonese ladies, who gave her their honest opinions in the way that only a group of women shopping together can. The C.S.P. picked out a blouse and skirt outfit that really made her look nice, and the Cantonese ladies picked up the tab for her. This is a woman who usually walks up to you in a grungy T-shirt and tattered jeans. She left the shop with her new clothes on and a new smile on her face. I learned later that they had also taken her out to eat earlier for some Thai food, which she had never tasted before. It was an honor to assist in my small way with such a beautiful picture of anonymous love. The Cantonese ladies did not have an air of doing the C.S.P. a favor. I think they were sincerely enjoying her company, even though they're from out of town and had only just met her.

So here again we've got blessing magnified on several angles, unexpected by all parties. You've got the C.S.P., who had a wonderful night out on the town with spur-of-the-moment friends, and who is now enjoying a nice, new set of clothes. I'm sure she feels like a million bucks right now, and more importantly, she might even have some inkling that she's worth it. I hope she writes a poem about it. Then you've got the Cantonese ladies, who enjoyed her poetry and her company, and found in her an opportunity for a really sweet ministry that even other members of the body of Christ might not have gone so far as to pursue. Then you've got all the overseas cooperatives that benefitted from their purchases -- in India, Kenya, Ghana, China and Ecuador in this case -- receiving the fruits of the fair trade movement. And then there's me, the guy at the cash register, sitting back and watching it all happen, but in the back of my mind knowing that part of the reason it can happen at all is because the Lord has placed me in this line of work to keep the shop running and open.

Incidentally, one of the Cantonese ladies is going on a year-long mission to 11 countries with her husband, and she'll be blogging about it attarabruce.theworldrace.org.

Our 8 hour adventure in Choo-choo to the Nooga!

2008-06-24T16:03:00.001-07:00

So, Tara, my sister Amanda and I decided to have one last crazy adventure together under our alias: Tayhaymaysteenster. Yeah, I know it's a mouth full! We decided to let the wind blow us up North and we ended up in Chattanooga. Or as we have begun to call it: Choo-choo to the Nooga. (We have a tendency to nickname EVERYTHING!) The day started out gorgeous...blue skys, big billowy clouds, and VERY hot! Our fun day started off like most of our fun days do....awkward. We went to eat some mexican in Canton before heading north and found that it wasn't very mexican. Tara's dish was supposed to be veggie fajitas. Now, I don't know about you, but I never seen carrots, squash, and zucchini in a mexican dish before....I'm just saying. So we get to the Nooga alittle later and find it to be scorching hot. Like a ninny, I'm the only one wearing jeans and see that I'm not going to last another hour. So we stop by this cute little shop called "World Next Door." FYI: LOVE this place! It had all of these amazing things made in other countries and the proceeds went right back to the countries that made the items, like Kenya and Ghana, etc. Shout out to Nathan and his wife that own the shop, and thanks for making our trip completely memorable! So I bought a beautiful, colorful, very light weight skirt and changed. Much better. Now, I am telling you this story because the skirt comes into major play later in the day! We just walk around soaking up all of the beauty in the Nooga. There is incredible architecture there...New, modern buildings mixed with the older historic looking shops, it's really nice. We have fun wading in the little pools around the aquarium, sitting by the river, going to candy shop and finding the world's largest jawbreaker (another blog for another day,) eating some great ice cream and sorbet. All of the sudden, within like 20 minutes, the sky turned black. Now when I say black, I mean so dark grey that certain clouds were almost seriously black. We knew a storm was coming so we decided to be little dare devils and sit by the river, eat some fudge and watch the show. The few lightening bolts we saw strike were very impressive, and very intimidating! Soon, it started to rain on us and when we couldn't take it any longer, we ran under covering by the aquarium. When it started to let up, we decided to go eat some dinner. So heading to the nearest pizzeria, all 3 holding hands soaking wet, (there we go with the holding hands again :) we are approached by a woman named Andy. Now, Andy is homeless woman who walks the streets of Chattonooga and is known as the street poet. She writes and recites her poetry to try to earn $12 a day for a place to stay that night. We didn't have any cash, but thankfully, God showed us other ways that we could help her. I really love it when God gives us the opportunity to live out what he has commanded of us. Matthew 25: 35-40 sums up our experience with Andy.

"I was hungry and you fed me,

I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,

I was homeless and you gave me a room,

I was shivering and you gave me clothes,

I was sick and you stopped to visit me,

I was in prison and you came to me.

Then those sheep are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me- you did it to me."

We were all 3 very excited about meeting God in Chattanooga! It was a great time we had with Andy, one I will probably never forget. Just a funny side note: We eat Thai for dinner and had another weird mishap with a dish. 2 words for you: nasty and feet. Before parting ways with her, she told us about a large carousal that was on the other side of the river. The weather was completely beautiful again at this point so we decided to go check it out as we are all about acting like kids! We had a blast riding on a huge beautiful wooden carousal and laughing like children. But we had even more fun frolicking in the huge fountain with some college students after! We were soaked through and through! SO fun... As we were walking back over the bridge back to our car. I had a moment. You know, one of those moments that feel unreal, like you are no longer in your real life, but maybe living a scene out of a movie. It was mostly dark, just a tiny bit of sun peaking out over the mountains. The lights had come on the bridge and carousal and on the aquarium on the other side. We stopped to hear a musician playing his guitar and harmonica. I was looking out over the bridge, eating some more fudge, just trying to take in the lights, city, music, and water below. It was beautiful. I love those beautiful moments. We decide that 8 hours of adventure was enough for one day and make our way to our car to change into dry clothes. As I am changing I notice that my entire leg and feet are navy blue, my hands are suddenly stained as well. My undies, yeah, no longer white...After getting wet, my handmade skirt from Africa dyed my skin, clothes, and Amanda's clothes a dark blue! AAAHHG... I look like I had been severely beaten from my waist down! It was really funny... especially considering I am writing this a full 24 hrs and 2 showers later, still blue! Bottom line: One of my top nites ever! A GREAT adventure, one for the blogs in fact. Tara, Amanda, you are the best partners in crime I could EVER ask for! I love ya'll and thank you for the great memories! CHOO-CHOO IN THE NOOGA!

Pictures will soon follow!

With you, I can be me...

2008-06-21T18:43:00.000-07:00

A letter for my dear friend Tara.

I have been thinking alot about the last 3 years the past couple of days. I been thinking about the funny times, the frustrating times, the sad times, the trying times and the just plain awesome times. :) We have talked alot about the funny times and laughed about them the past few days, but I want to talk about the times that have made a lasting impression on me. The times that I feel we have spiritually grown together. Let me start off by saying that I would not be who I am today without you. God sent you to me to help mold me into the woman/warrior princess he has called me to be! You have shown and taught me to be fearless for what I believe in, to stand up for those who can't themselves, to love myself and paint my God colors for the world! You have shown me that love is the answer to ALL questions, and how to step out of my comfort zone. I have learned that if you step out of your comfort zone enough, you cease to have one! You are a beautiful example of what God has called us all to be, Jesus in human form. And I love you for that, and thank you for being a shining star. Okay, so for our remembering.....

I want to thank you for the night that you prayed over me in Nashville. You prayed things over me that I desperately needed to hear. It is so hard to be a mother to autistic children. Sometimes you feel helpless, frustrated, guilty, and partly responsible. You reminded me that I was NOT at fault, that God had an amazing plan, and that I was doing what God called me to do. Thank you...

I want to thank you for dropping everything to go to Lakeland. Watching you and the others in our small group pray over him the night before we left lifted me up so much. I am SO blessed to have such wonderful friends who care about me and my family. You, Andy, and Amanda laying hands and praying over him in Lakeland was something that I will not soon forget. You will forever be apart of the chapter of Eli's healing!

Now for one of my favorite moments. The other night when we prayed over the man on the side of the road in the accident. After praying for him, when we were walking back to the car....We held hands on the way back to the car. Now, I know that that might sound a little gay. But we were both a little shaken up and it was quite an experience. I was thinking about that moment a couple of days later and I realize how significant that moment was to me. Here we are, two grown married women holding hands on the side of the road....like two school girl children on the playground. I smile when I think about it because it's a beautiful picture of our faith in that exact moment, childlike. In that moment, God was bigger than the situation and we trusted him completely. That's the reason I love you Tara, because I feel like I can be childlike around you. In my faith, in my silliness, in my heartbreak. When you are away, and I feel the need to be childlike, I will remember us. On the side of the road, walking in the tall grass, holding hands.

Memories...

2008-06-18T13:31:00.000-07:00

Okay, so most of you know that I LOVE making memories. You know, those moments that happen and you just know that you will remember it forever? Well, Tara and I have about a million. So to spare the world of our massive CRAZINESS, I will share some of my favs:

*holding dixie cups to people's hinnys at Old Smith's Bar and hearing the ocean!

*you, Tracy, and Richie praying over me in Nashville.

*being the only people to hear heaven's bells!

*you running in Destin...

*the chaos that engulfed as you drove and the windows fogged!

*the Ace...

*drunken noodles, tofu, and Thai iced tea.

*manicures and pedicures...

*you knowing everyone everywhere we went!

*corn hole-eo

*the skinny fashion show!

*lost and Heroes...

*sharing our God-colors with the world.

*our Monday bible studies...

*getting sunburned together...

*feeding the homeless with you in Lakeland.

*the drive to Lakeland!

*late nite games...

*going to hear Rob Bell in Atlanta.

*eating with the men after :)

*getting persecuted with you in Atlanta...

*sharing the same heart with someone...

*missing you when you were gone to Africa.

*our genesis week...

*our small group time.

*you video taping Pey-pey's birth.

*the hours before she was born.

*our Christmas pics* ;)

*letting the wind blow us where is may...

*facial piercing: Mike Nite!

*serving at Inside-out together.....Top Nite!

*the MANY dinners we shared together.

*our Jesus talks...

*our dreaming about living in community together.

*the night we were driving on 575 and the fog was so thick we thought we where going to die!

*corn-dog being healed!

*calling you whenever I was obedient to the Lord, you are always the first person I want to tell!

*miracles, signs, and wonders...To GOD be the glory!

*Shane Claiborne, Joshua Mills, Rob Bell, Jon Crowder, Todd Bentley...

*seeing you pray over my son and husband.

*all of the movies we saw together....uncountable....

*the part where you changed my life...

(Aside from my husband and family.) I have NEVER laughed, cried, pondered, wondered, or dreamed with anyone more than you Tara. Especially laughed!

Here's to you Tara...

2008-06-18T12:57:00.000-07:00

For those of you who are not Tara or, these first few blogs may not be that interesting to you. But if you are just a bit curious about the friendship dynamic or how God can use relationships to change lives, well then, you might just want to keep reading...

For those of you who do not know, my best friend in all the world is leaving in 10 days to travel the world for a year spreading God's love to the far corners of the earth. I am very overwhelmed right now with MANY emotions. Sadness, joy, excitement, and grief are just to name a few. I am SO excited for her and can't wait to see how God is going to use her to change thousands of lives. (Because he will!) But, I am saddened to lose such an amazing friend. So, to sort out all of these feelings and per the request Tara, I am starting a blog. It is probably a good time to do so, because my Abba, father, seems to be working crazy in my life as of late. And not only do I want to share what he does for his glory with everyone I can, but I don't want to forget anything either! Some posts will be funny, some will be sad, and I am sure that some will be very odd. But my prayer is that God will use them to bring you joy, make you think, and ultimately share his love with EVERYONE around you. For that is what Tara has helped teach me. So, my sweet Tara, I dedicate this blogsite to you....